Becoming a working mama....

On Monday, I enter the world of the working mother. The thought of not working never really crossed my mind pre-pregnancy and thoughout. In fact, I never thought I would want to stay home, I love my job and I'm not good at being alone, not to mention barely keeping my sanity the first 6 weeks of this kid's life. If I could have held it together for more than 2 minutes, I probably would have put on my scrubs, handed my colicky-refluxing, not-so-happy baby to anyone who would take him, and walked straight out the door.

A quick 6 weeks later, I'm sitting here on the couch on the verge of tears, just thinking about leaving him. He's a little human now with a personality and laughs and smiles. I finally know what his cries mean, he sleeps through the night (mostly), and I'm feeling more and more like his mother, not his babysitter, every single day. He just started babbling, making eye contact, and finding his feet. He looks at me and I know he knows I'm his mother. How do you hand over your little to someone else? 

I now understand why stay-at-home moms want to be stay-at-home moms and why it's the hardest job in the world. In the end, I hope and pray that we find a happy balance between a career that I love and what works best for my family.