My husband is a better stay-at-home mom than me

Tonight marks the end of 4 weeks of paternity leave for my husband. We switched roles and he became the stay-at-home parent for our little man. We were very blessed that his company provides paid time off for dads, especially when I had to go back to work.

I would like to think I'm pretty good with kids, especially babies, as that's kinda of what my job pays me to do everyday...feed babies. But I've decided there are just some things that a dad can do better. In case you've ever thought, man, he's better at this....or if you ever want to experiment with your new dad....these are my findings.

1. Cry it out. Think of what you will about cry it out, but we believe in it in the Lee household. Knox is always fed, dry, and warm when he goes down for what we call "taking a little break"...There's no reason to panic. At least you would think that. Knox loves to sleep, he sends me signs that he wants sleep, he sometimes begs to sleep. He has however decided that the first 60-90 seconds of nap time is meant for releasing all prior build-up stress from a hard day of eating, playing, and pooping. This consists of bloody murder screaming which is like nails on a chalkboard to me. My husband however can listen to this for hours (ok, maybe, like 20 minutes max) without flinching.

2. Cleaning. So when I was on maternity leave, cleaning really fell to the wayside... I wanted to clean, I wished I could clean, but my little tiny human had other ideas of what I should do with my time. John (*getting baby at 12 weeks old) did all the laundry, mopped with floors, and dusted the house on day one of being at home. He started strong and was completely exhausted, but he did it instantly putting my cleaning skills to shame.

3. Sleeping in the crib. Let me preface by saying, Knox has a nasty case of reflux and had a never ending cold that kept us from the transition to the crib initially. He adored the rock n' play and has a flat spot to prove it. He had no desire to make a change. I worried and avoided it for weeks. Cue John's paternity leave. I went back to work on Monday and by that afternoon I was receiving pictures of my sweet little boy sound asleep....IN HIS CRIB. Dang it, John. From that day forward, the kid takes all naps and bedtime in the crib, no questions asked.


4. Transition to 5 bottles. We love Babywise in the Lee house and Babywise said it was time to transition to 5 bottles. I had no idea how to do this and frankly was nervous because Knox didn't exactly wait his 3 hours for each bottle so I didn't know how taking one away would work. Again, in the matter of a day or two, John somehow stretched out his feedings into a workable schedule without sending Knox into a tailspin. (I have a feeling it had a lot to do with #1)

5. Resale shopping. John and I both love to shop. We knew having a baby would be dangerous, especially with baby Gap. A couple days into his paternity leave, I started getting texts like, "alright, Kid-to-Kid is a treasure trove of clothes" and "Just went to Buy and Buy and got onsies for $2!" We are now officially addicted to re-sale baby shops. A baby needs 10 different Ralph Lauren onsies, right?

All in all, although I want to be super mom and be the best at everything I do, my husband seems to be pretty good at this whole early parenting thing. It's an important lesson to learn. Teamwork is key to raising a tiny human. He's completely capable and sometimes way better than I am at taking care of our little man.

I'm extremely thankful for him, his willingness to care for Knox, and bonding time they were able to share in these 4 weeks.

Friday Favorites!

1. Pottery Barn Chairs 

The girls LOVE these! From when they began to crawl it was a jungle gym, and now they walk over, grab a book and sit down, or wrestle... usually just wrestle. Basically adorable. We bought the regular size on sale for $79 each.

2. Chick Fil A

Every Friday. And these Baby Bjorn bibs, they catch all that misses the mouth and the girls love to discover what is leftover for second lunch.

3. Sunshine and these spring jackets from Joules 

4. Better Homes and Garden Skillet Dinners Magazine

This issue is GOLD. Have cooked 4 recipes from it already and every one was quick, easy, and delicious. 

Twins 1st Birthday Party: Winter Wonderland

Happy 1st Birthday Maisie and Camille! After we survived "The Days Which Shall Not Be Named", I began thinking about the girls 1st birthday party. It was a hard year, a blur of a year, and a beautiful year. While I'm not quite ready to re-live it, I did want to live it up at their first birthday party!

 I like planning parties, but I'm a not a perfectionist and easily distractable so this isn't your pinterest perfect party, but our family friends were there so it was our perfect Winter Wonderland for our New Year's Day birthday babes! I like to get my craft on, so months before the birthday I started doing little bit here and there during nap time. Great creative outlet and reminded me of how much I need those. It was a toss up between "Winter Wonderland" (or One-derland if you wanna be cute) and "The Wonders" (As in, I *wonder* what happened to the O'Needers?).  But because we live in Wisconsin I thought a Winter Wonderland would be fitting. 

Photos by Beky Smith Photography and I'm linking up with my favorite blog in all the land, www.twintalkblog.com. 

Without further ado, our babies Winter Wonderland 1st Birthday Party!

The Decor

(I snapped the next four photos before guests arrived)

The other stars of the snow were the edible snowy pinecone snacks. "I can't believe these don't have any calories!??" -Michael Scott (Recipe here)

The Birthday Babes
My mom made the girls dresses. She has a lot of talents (including Cute Little Cakes) and these dresses were exactly what I envisioned, whimsical and classic and wintery. Thanks mom :)

What's a first birthday without a cake smash??

Happy 1st Birthday Maisie and Camille! We love you through and through.

Next morning, the party never ends! 

Little Recipes: Zucchini Pizza

This recipe is straight from Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. I referenced this book multiple times a day when the twins first started eating solids. She's so comprehensive in everything you need to know about feeding solids. And now that I have toddlers (wahhhhh) there's hundreds of EASY recipes. 

It's literally as easy as it looks and seems silly to write it down but I always need exacts when I first try a recipe. 

Zucchini Pizza Bites

1 zucchini 

Marinara sauce 

Mozzarella cheese 

Slice zucchini to 1/4 inch or so, line them on foil lined baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray. Top with marinara and cheese! Bake at 350 for 15 or until the zucchini is soft. If I remember I'll sprinkle some wheatgerm or flaxseed on before the mozzarella for a healthy extras boost.

I was too slow getting a picture of the finished product but Camille says "it's a pizza mama delicioso!"

Flying with babies

Touch down Turks and Caicos!

The girls have taken 14 flights since they were born and we are gearing up for their next flight to Texas soon. Our very first flight included a layover in Denver. When we landed, RD and I decided that we weren't leaving Denver. Ever. That was going to be our new home forever. The mountains are beautiful! There was no way we were ever getting back on that enclosed space with our babies. But alas, we pulled our lives together and boarded that 2nd flight to Austin. Fortunately the crying for two hours on the first flight wore them out and they slept the 2nd flight.

We've learned a lot since that first flight. Here's how we fly with babies.

1. BOARD LAST - That "family boarding" is a trap devised to torture parents. The plane is hot, my carry on is squished below and I'm trying to reach for bottles but can't remember if they are in the inside pocket or the outside pocket or the hidden pocket on the side pocket (which inspired me to create a new diaper bag, my next shark tank idea). I keep getting elbowed and the commotion is enough to send a sensitive baby into a crying mess. Just don't board first. It's so tempting as everyone begins to crowd around like Penguins in Antarctica and you begin to panic... DON'T GIVE IN. Board last. Absolutely last if possible. Fake a diaper change if someone offers you to go in front of them.

Like a fool we boarded first and in a panic sat in the first row (Southwest). This was a fatal mistake as all diaper bags had to be stowed ABOVE aka totally and completely out of reach. Fail. 

2. EMPTY SEATS - The lap infant deal is great. You have two years to jet around and forget the extra financial responsibility that tiny humans place on your budget. However it's also a sneaky deal. You have to restrain an every-increasingly curious tiny human into a small space surrounded by strangers some with friendly faces and some without friendly faces. SO... beg. Beg shamelessly. Let go of any pride you have and beg the gate agent to rearrange seats so that an empty one is next to you. Sit in the back row if you have to because that empty seat is a game changer. It worked for us 9/10 times.

Empty seat!!!

3. WARMING BOTTLES - The first 10 flights the babies main diet was still a bottle. Not easy in an airport. After many mishaps, we got better at timing bottles. They hardly ever took a bottle at take off but a paci worked fine for their ears. We would buy a double cup 1/2 full of hot water from Starbucks. We discovered that some airplanes don't even have hot water (it's 2015 how's this possible?!) so we didn't count on that. You could also do a thermos but our bottles didn't fit in the thermos to warm and it's one more thing to stuff in the diaper bag. So Starbucks hot water became our life saver. 

Finding a quiet-ish place for a warm bottle.

4. CHANGE OF SCENERY - If the babies weren't sleeping, we'd switch babies every 30 minutes. Their attention spans are so short and it helped us when we ran out of tricks or toys. Most flights we are a row or two apart because of oxygen masks etc. So the babies got to see a new toy, new seatbelt, and so on.

5. BABY GEAR - When they were still little we liked to check the stroller and car seats before security and carry the babies in bjorns or ergos through security. The baby carrier is a must have through security to have both hands for unloading everything at security. When they got heavier strollers were essential and great for naps on longer layovers. The only major downside is potential for the stroller to get damaged.

Napping. An airport miracle. 

6. NEW TOY - Duh. I'd get something from Target and save it until I absolutely needed it. It's not a toy but the Monkey Mat was a life saver before they were too mobile, we'd do diaper changes and play while I could pretend they weren't getting as many germs as they did while licking the window on the plane.

Monkey mat for the layover.

7. TEAMWORK - For two type-B personalities, RD and I made a thorough game plan for arrival all the way to baggage claim. Who is carrying what bag, who is unloading liquids at security, breaking down the stroller, and so on. Flying alone can be stressful, add a baby or two and the entire nursery packed into a couple of diaper bags... recipe for disaster. But our detailed game plan really made the process much smoother. Probably more for my own brain but RD went along with it graciously as he always does. :)

Goodbye warm weather...

Edit, a few other boring specifics that I remember where helpful knowing for our first flight:
-You can bring through security: milk, juice, water, snack pouches, and other baby related liquid. They'll just run it through a machine so allow time for that. Sometimes it's a couple minutes other times they take their sweet time.
-The stroller has to go through the security scanning machine if it will fit. They'll take it aside and swipe it, check it, etc. Check the wheels after that's where we lost a bolt.
-They'll swipe your hands if you are the one holding baby through security.
-If you're traveling internationally you have to purchase a ticket for baby, I don't know if online booking makes this obvious, but it's 10% of a single ticket price.
-We've never been asked for a birth certificate for domestic flights, but it doesn't hurt to bring a copy for peace of mind. Now that they are toddlers I'll bring their passports so there's no issues.
-Some airplanes don't have a changing tables in the bathroom (!!!!), you can't control an in flight diaper emergency but we always change diapers before the flight just in case. 

What no one could tell me about Motherhood...

I remember thinking, "why did no one tell me how horrible this is?" as I rocked my screaming newborn at 3 am to no avail.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom.  I remember playing with my dolls, dreaming about having babies, putting pillows under my shirt, and talking about my future twins (a boy and a girl--named Emily and Ty). Motherhood was a magical thing that I couldn't wait to be a part of someday.

And then I was pregnant. It was surreal. Pregnancy is so exciting. I mean, you are literally growing a tiny human inside of you. It's such a miraculous and unexplainable thing. My husband might not describe it as nicely as I wasn't always the sweetest pregnant woman, but it was exciting nonetheless. Preparing a nursery, buying tiny clothes, and being showered with love and gifts by wonderful mothers that have gone before you. Everyone says, "you'll never know love like this" and "it's so worth it". I would always smile and nod thinking, of course it's worth it and I know I'll love him....silly moms.

Enter Knox. My world was turned upside and backwards in the blink of an eye. I never anticipated the way I would feel once he was born.

 

Courtesy of Caroline Jurgensen Photography

My husband and I were no longer fun-loving, do what you want when you want it best friends and partners in crime, but two very tired people who signed up to take care of a baby all.the.time. I immediately grieved the loss of my old life, and quite frankly, kind of resented my little baby for taking away my husband's attention. I no longer had his sole attention, not to mention, I still looked 6 months pregnant, had a massive hole in my stomach, and couldn't control my post-pregnancy hormones.

No one tells you that you will cry. A lot. And all the time following baby. I thought I was crazy, and probably actually was a little. I cried when Knox was sleeping. I cried when Knox was awake. I cried in the morning. I cried in the evening. I had no control of my emotions and I had never felt that way before. It is scary.

This is only compounded by social media posts of other new mommas saying, "this is the best thing that's ever happened to me" and "my heart is complete in this little man". I knew I loved my little man, but I definitely didn't like him for seemingly ruining my life.  

I have personally struggled with anxiety for most of my adult life. Adding a baby into the mix of a type A, anxiety prone woman with a plan and a schedule is  rough. I was anxious about being anxious. Sayings like, "sleep while the baby sleeps"only added fuel to the fire of crazy....

For weeks, I struggled with this anxiety and "mommy guilt" from my ill feelings towards my new life, for having a c-section, for giving my baby formula, and for not knowing how to make him stop crying. Whether anyone else is judging your new parenting skills or not, the weight of the world is on a new mom's shoulders.

Week by week, and little by little, the new normal set in. Many wonderful friends and family stepped up to support us and tell me it's "normal" to feel this way.

We are now the golden 3 months out and looking back, it was the hardest 3 months of my life. No one and no mom could have told me or convinced me that these would be my feelings before baby came. I wouldn't have understood and it wouldn't have mattered. With hands wide open, a lot of prayer, and a little help, we have survived and started to thrive in this little situation called parenthood.

 

Courtesy of Caroline Jurgensen Photography

I love Knox more than I can say and I fall more in love with my little human everyday as he looks and smiles at me, as we snuggle on the couch, and as he stares and babbles intently at me.

Motherhood is not what I expected. It's an amazingly hard, tiring, and stressful but it's also wonderful, rewarding, and fun. I'm very thankful to be a mother. The Lord has entrusted me with a little soul and I can't wait to learn more and more about him as we teach, discipline, and love him in this life.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

Courtesy of Caroline Jurgensen Photography 

See the full birth story @ http://didyoueverthinkthat.blogspot.com/2015/02/a-birth-story-knox-edition.html

How to survive colicky twins

The first three weeks of the twins life was hard but they were pretty sleepy. And then it went from hard to "the days that shall not be named." We still shudder when we think about it and a newborn cry sends shivers down my spine. I actually just had a twitch thinking about it.

The first three weeks, sleepy city. Creeper photo courtesy of iBaby camera. 

Early on, we split the babies and assigned Camille to RD and Maisie to me for most nights so that if one baby decided to stop crying at least one of us would get a wink of sleep. I was actually sleeping on a pallet on the floor in the nursery and the mental image you have is as sad as it was. Fortunately, we took a crib out and put in an inflatable bed. By the way RD is a sleep training magician so maybe he'll do a guest post on how to get your baby to sleep. Genius I tell you. ANYWAY. This is what got us through those 5 weeks of intense colic, and the aftershocks that came in the months to follow.

1. NOISE CANCELING HEADPHONES - Best decision ever. We read every book and watched every instructional video on calming a "fussy" baby to no avail. Our doctor said, "you just have to put in your time." Enter noise canceling headphones. Maisie was fed, burped, dry, and snuggled into my arm, screaming, while I alternated between standing and rocking and sitting and rocking while I binge watched New Girl and 19 Kids and Counting.

RDs on double duty. 

2. SNACK BAR - Ain't nobody got time to sit down and eat with a colicky baby or two. We set up a snack bar, created by my sister Claire on the kitchen table. Bowls full of snacks we could grab a handful of and keep moving or be punished with another hour of crying. Nuts, fruit, and wintergreen mints was our diet for a couple months. Bonus if your sister can make amazing snack boxes.

3. FRIENDS AND FAMILY - This is obvious. But it's key to survival. Say yes to every meal, every offer, and never say no. Never say never. Let them hold the screaming baby because as much as it hurts to be mom and not be able to calm the baby, it will help you. My sister and I had a heart to heart after I kept saying no to her helping with the night shift, I felt like I had to do it, I was mom. But I was hanging on by a thread. She took over the night shifts and reminded me that she gets to go back home and sleep. And every meal delivered was perfection. No pictures were taken of meals because they were consumed immediately. :) Below are the brave souls who helped us conquer the days that shall not be named. Saints. All of them.

4. CUTE OUTFITS - It helps. It really does. Play dress up (which by the way boys can too, I'm referring to Jenn's valentines photos of Knox). In the mornings sometimes the thought of the day quickly overwhelmed me but then I remembered I had two little dolls to dress up. And let me tell you there is nothing quite like babies wearing cowboy hats and boots to reign in the crazy and just take it an hour (or 5 minutes) at a time.

We played a lot of dress up. We still do :)

5. STATIONS - Once they were around 4 or 5 months, we were out of the 3-4 hours of crying woods, but they still weren't super "relaxed" or "calm" babies. We'd start in the exersaucer station for 5-10 minutes. Then I'd just switch them, get another 5 minutes or so. We'd go to the mirror station and stare at ourselves for 5 minutes. During summer we looooved the front porch station to watch cars drive by. We had the photo station, book station, mobile station, etc. It helped me having some "structure" instead of frantically trying to entertain them and keep them from getting fussy.

Photo Station

6. HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK - It's not that it took the colic away but we do think it helped to lessen the intensity at times. The video on Amazon was a lifesaver as no one had the brain capacity to re-read the book that we faithfully read before the girls were born. The 5 S's, we're all about it. They are so trained to sleep with the sound machine that if it ever accidentally goes off our hearts momentarily stop as we race in there to restart the machine before their rustling turns into waking.

Getting our swaddle and swing on while shushing.

So there you have it. I never thought we would have "colicky" babies, I even skipped over the chapters about it in Babywise. While Camille and Maisie will never remember it, RD and I live to forget it. Just kidding. Mostly.