one momma's thoughts on daycare...

Daycare. A bad word for some but something that was a reality for me and my family. We knew I would go back to work and we knew that we needed to find a place for our son to be cared for during the day.

Having a background in pediatrics, seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly situations that happen in the hospital everyday that were a result of poor daycare/caregiver situations, I was a little more high strung than most new moms looking to find a place for their child.

I wanted everything to be perfect. After all, I'm a babywise mama. I have a schedule. A plan. I worked so hard to make my baby do what I wanted him to do in 12 weeks and I'm going to have to hand him off to a stranger, A STRANGER?!?

I literally visited 8-10 different facilities and homes when looking for a place for Knox. I started looking when I was only 4-5 months pregnant as I knew our area was notorious for long wait lists. All of my mama friends warned me about getting into the right school, at the right time.

I made a list of all the questions I would ask the facility to ensure my baby was well taken care of. It was quite extensive and the owners of the facilities typically politely smiled, answered the questions, and then rolled their eyes when I turned my back. I was a brand new mom and an anxious one at that.

What is the child to staff ratio?
How often do you clean the toys?
How to you ensure safety with formula or foods so that they do not get switched for child?
What is the visitation policy?
Do infants follow the same schedule or individual schedules?
What happens if a child comes in ill or becomes ill during the day?
How often does your staff turnover? Will I be informed of turnover?
How do you deal with a fussy baby?
How long do you allow for a crying baby until you change the environment or call the parent?
What supplies do you provide?
What emergency certifications do you have? CPR?
What is your immunization policy?
Hand washing in between diaper changes?
Do the babies feed on demand or on a schedule?
What happens if the baby is refusing to eat?

After looking into many different options, we decided on a traditional daycare, highly recommended and certified, expensive daycare. They taught yoga, made wholesome meals, had a small teacher-baby ratio. Everything seemed great. And it was for many of the families there.

We lasted a total of 3 weeks. I noticed that everyday when I picked Knox up, he was in a device (a swing, a bouncer, or jumper) usually just sitting and staring as life happened around him. Now don't get me wrong, I love a good jumper, or some bouncer time for mommy's sanity but I was paying a hefty fee for that bouncer. He seemed like a number, a mouth to feed, a schedule to maintain. I know there were wonderful teachers there, it's just they had many other infants, some with higher needs than Knox, and they were stretched thin. I had a really hard time coming to pick him up and noticing that his interaction with other people had been mostly limited to observation.

We decided that we would start the search for a new daycare situation. I decided to look into in-home daycares as I thought he might get a little more one-on-one attention there. I stumbled upon several in our neighborhood, all of which were hundreds of dollars less than the traditional daycare, and seemingly a safe environment. I again interviewed several owners, long list of questions out, and decided on one approximately 2 minutes from our home.

Knox transitioned to his in-home daycare several weeks later. In home daycares bring their own differences and compromises to the table. The one-on-one attention was great. The owner knew me and my husband by name. She seemed to carry Knox around as her own, loving on him and holding him constantly. He was the youngest she had. She also had 8-10 other kiddos along with an assistant who helped her throughout the day. The other kiddos ranged in age from birth-4 years and were, for the most part, mobile. They moved quickly and with little regard for what was next to them. I started to notice that Knox might be playing in the middle of the room, while the 4 year olds were running around chasing each other. At this time, Knox was only 4 months old, little and easily overlooked in a game of tag. The older kids also had older kid toys with smaller parts and were eager to share those with their tiny friend. Situations came up that I saw as unsafe. There's also a difference in security. At the traditional daycare, I had a key fob to enter the building and extreme safety measures were taken to ensure no one who wasn't supposed to be there was there. An in home daycare has rules, but it's still someone's home. It's much less standard and secure than a traditional childcare building in my opinion. The day I saw a small child crawling out of the door when a parent was entering, I decided we needed to continue the search for the right place for Knox.

We ended up taking a recommendation from a friend for a church mother's day out preschool program that had extended hours for working parents. Immediately upon arrival, the staff greeted me well, didn't mind my laundry list of questions which was ever growing, and welcomed me to see the school. The teacher-child ratio was 1:3 in the infant room, and one by one, all of my questions and fears were answered. Mothers who's kiddos were in college were caring for my baby, they offered to text me pictures and updates throughout the day, they even followed my slightly anal babywise schedule. They loved my baby. I knew that even though this place didn't have the best hours, the easiest location, or the lowest price, it was worth it for Knox.

I don't think any one site, facility, or program is best by any means. This was our experience, one time, and with one baby. What I learned was to trust your instincts, to keep looking until you feel comfortable, and that no place is perfectly like home and that's ok.

Sending your new baby off to daycare is almost unbearable but if you can find a place you feel comfortable, you and your baby will both thrive. I love the moments I get to spend with Knox in the mornings, evenings, and weekends and I thank the Lord for the good people that are willing to love on him, discipline him, and care for him on my behalf throughout the week.